Being a Fool
by NightShadow131
Summary: A heartbroken human puts on the pretense of normalcy until it becomes too much. He hopes, despite knowing better. Slash.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own LotR or any of the characters.

**Warnings**: Slash. Pairing? You shall see. n.n Angst ahead. ..:nodnod:..

Here's one of the one-shots. n.n I've been wanting to do this one for a while now and finally got the chance. Yayness! n.n;;

I really hope you guys enjoy it and don't forget to let me know what ya think, alright? n.n

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**Being a Fool**

Estel lowered his book, stormy grey eyes, darkened by sadness, peeking above it. The words had been unfocused for a while now, failing to distract him from his inner pain.

His gaze followed the couple, laughing and chatting as they walked; it seemed as though they couldn't be happier. Despite himself, Estel felt jealousy rise in him, followed by guilt and a strong hand squeezed his heart.

The human sighed deeply and set the book in his lap, closing his eyes to the scene—eyes that he soon opened, though he knew better.

The two elves smiled lovingly at each other and came close as they kissed.

Estel was beating himself up inside, his posture one of defeat, his hands loosening their grip.

The forgotten book landed on the ground with a quiet _thump_. However, it was loud enough to alert those with exceptional hearing and the two lovers startled. They quickly looked around them and eventually spotted the human nearby, watching them.

"Estel! How long have you been there?" the golden-haired, sapphire-eyed elf asked him in surprise.

The young man merely shrugged in return, not wanting to speak, he didn't trust his voice. He knew of their relationship, but it still ripped his heart in pieces. It was exactly why he felt so lost.

"Estel, you should go inside. You will catch a cold out here," the elder of the two stated caringly. He had long dark hair and grey eyes, much like his own.

It was a cold day, but the human hadn't noticed. He seemed to be oblivious to these sort of things recently—or maybe he just didn't care anymore.

Estel stood up and left without a word. It wasn't as if he didn't care about the two, he cared for them greatly, one perhaps too much.

The two watched him leave sadly, wondering what was wrong with their friend and brother.

The blonde looked down and frowned. The book Estel had been reading lay abandoned before them. He leaned down and picked it up. "He forgot his book," he said worriedly. Estel had been acting strange recently; like he was depressed over something.

"You can return it to him later," the dark-haired elf said, though worry carried on his soft voice.

"I will." A thoughtful pause. "What do you think is wrong with him, Elladan?" the blonde questioned, deeply concerned. He had never seen his friend act like this before and he didn't know how to respond.

Elladan shook his head. "I know not. Mayhap you should ask him," he suggested, resting his chin on Legolas' shoulder as he wrapped his arms around his lover's waist.

The archer stared at the book he now held and sighed heavily, leaning into Elladan. He needed to find out what was going on with his friend. He hated seeing him so forlorn. There had to be some reason for it and he was determined to find out what that was. He would help Estel solve his problem.

However, first, he had to find out what exactly the 'problem' was.

…………

Later that day Legolas tried to find Estel, to return his book but, mainly, to talk to him. It seemed as though the human had taken to avoiding him, though; even Elladan. He couldn't figure out why.

They had seen him at the evening meal, but he had left early. All were gravely concerned and even wondered if he was becoming ill, for he had barely touched his food and seemed to be getting less sleep with how weary he always looked.

The next morning he hadn't even showed up for the morning meal. When Elrond had gone to check up on him, Estel hadn't answered the door. The elf-lord, alarmed at his youngest son's behavior, had peeked in and saw that he was feigning sleep. He had left, thinking that, perhaps he merely needed some time alone to think something over.

However, the afternoon meal came and passed; still with no sign of Estel. The kitchen staff hadn't seen the human either so it appeared as if he wasn't eating at all. He might not have even left his chambers. Elrohir had gone and placed a tray of food on his brother's nightstand, hoping he would eat. He tried to get him to respond, to talk to him, but his only reply had been silence.

Evening meal once again; Estel wasn't there. Elrond abruptly stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor, crashing into the silence as all felt a deep worry for their son, brother and friend—the youngest of their group.

Legolas quickly stood as well. "I shall go check on him," he offered. He couldn't help but feel as if this was somehow his fault. The look Estel had given him before held hurt behind it, even if the grey eyes had tried almost desperately to hide it.

The elder elf studied the blonde and then nodded in approval, sitting back down.

Without another word, Legolas left for his chambers and retrieved the long-forgotten book. It was a good way to start things off, after all. Whatever was bothering Estel was doing so greatly. They couldn't help but be beyond concerned, especially with him skipping a third meal and seeing no sign of him during the day, except for glimpses when they would occasionally look in his chambers, seeing him staring out the window or buried in his covers. The behavior in itself was disturbing.

Stopping at Estel's door, he softly knocked, hoping for an answer this time.

He sighed deeply when the stubborn man didn't reply, not that that wasn't expected.

He quietly opened the door and entered. He had to find out what was wrong with the human. He looked to the stand and found the tray of food Elrohir brought in untouched.

Looking at the bed, he found Estel laying on it, facing the wall. His body was tense—obviously not asleep. But why did he keep pretending to be? It hurt how his best friend wouldn't talk to him. Usually they would go to each other for advice or just to talk and relieve themselves of whatever was wrong. However, Estel had been _avoiding_ him. It seemed like their friendship was drifting apart; indeed it had been doing so for a couple weeks now.

"Estel, I know you are awake," the blonde said sadly.

Still, the young man merely shifted slightly.

Legolas sat down on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Estel's arm. That the human stiffened at the contact, did not go unnoticed.

"Tell me what is wrong, mellon-nin," he pleaded, wanting nothing more than to help the young man.

"Nothing is. I'm fine," Estel finally spoke up. His voice sounded choked up and was quiet, almost forced, as if he were only speaking to make the elf leave. "I shall go to the meal in a moment." He still didn't turn to face the archer.

Legolas retracted his hand, bringing it to his lap, where his eyes followed. The book still lay there.

"Here, you dropped this," he said, offering it in his outstretched hand.

Estel's curiosity got the better of him and he shifted his gaze to Legolas, seeing his book in the slender hand. He had wondered where that had gone.

Sighing deeply, the man got up, taking hold of the item and sitting closer to the wall than the elf.

"Hannon le." He wouldn't meet Legolas' eyes. However, when Estel's eyes had gone to his book Legolas had caught a glimpse and had frozen at the dullness he had seen.

"Estel…?" he trailed off, it was obvious of what he was going to ask.

The human didn't lift his eyes from the book and even played with the edges.

_Why is he so nervous?_ Legolas mused silently, there was no need.

Estel cursed himself. He had known this would happen: that they would check on him and not leave until they got an answer, but he couldn't help it. He had needed time away from Legolas and Elladan. However, it was _Legolas_ who came. Now what could he do? He couldn't very well tell him what was on his mind. No, not now.

He echoed his earlier sigh and reluctantly met Legolas' sky-blue eyes. "Forgive me," he said softly.

The elf looked at him in confusion, tilting his head slightly. He put his hand on the man's shoulder gently. "For what?"

Estel practically jumped at the touch. He tried to move slower, to make it look like he had done it on purpose as he set the returned book on his stand. "For avoiding you," he answered.

He knew that they had all known he had been doing so. He had been aware of the fact that they had checked on him every once in a while.

Legolas had watched Estel closely and decided to let the odd reaction to being touched go. He stood up and went next to the young man. "Just tell me what's wrong. Please," he begged again. He couldn't leave him alone until he got an answer and he was sure Estel knew of this.

Estel closed his eyes tightly, wishing that Legolas would stop tempting him so much. "I… really do not think that's a good idea," he finally stated, his voice shaky. He prayed the blonde would leave it at that.

He opened his eyes and faced Legolas when the crackling in the hearth was his response. He blanched at the hurt seen in the deep blue eyes.

"Why not?" the elf inquired quietly, keeping his eyes locked with grey.

Estel inwardly winced at the question. How was he supposed to reply to that?

He averted his gaze, unable to keep contact with those honest, open, concerned sapphires.

Legolas frowned at this friend's defeated form as he slumped his shoulders. He lifted Estel's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes again.

Estel's resolve broke; he felt tears prick at the back of his eyes from the helplessness he felt. He refused to let them fall, for it was foolish.

"You… You…" He took a deep, shaky breath. He couldn't believe he was doing this but, at this point, he couldn't stop himself. "You are in love with Elladan." No point in making that a question, he knew it to be true.

Nonetheless, he paused, waiting for Legolas. He supposed he still hoped despite himself.

The archer slowly nodded, wondering where Estel was going with that and half afraid that he knew already.

Estel let out the breath, this time refusing to break their truthful gaze, even though his heart was crumbling.

"I… I like you, Legolas," he finally managed. "And… not just as a friend."

_I'm such a fool!_ he mentally berated himself. Legolas was _in love_ with his brother! He knew that and he had _still_ confessed. Why! It had been pointless. He would only be rejected—and he braced himself for exactly that. He could never take anyone away from his brother nor would he wish unhappiness for him or Legolas.

The blonde froze. It was as he thought. He had pleaded until he got an answer so he had brought this upon himself. Now that he thought about it, it had been so obvious.

Legolas' silence and sad reflection in his eyes was answer enough for Estel. He turned away from the elf, eyes shut, blocking the tears.

"Estel, I'm sorry—"

"I know." Repressed tears were heard in his voice and Legolas longed to comfort him. He reached out to do so, but thought better of it, for it would be like teasing the young man.

How he wished he hadn't pried now.

"Please… Leave…" Estel begged, not trusting himself. He wouldn't look at Legolas, he couldn't; he would not allow him to see how this really hurt him.

Legolas watched Estel regretfully, wishing there was something he could do to take away the pain he was sure to be feeling. At the moment, he was grateful for one thing, though: that Estel was human. He could move on and wouldn't fade from a broken heart like the elves. He knew the thought wasn't helpful, and maybe even a bit cruel, but he couldn't help it. If there was some other way he could help the young man, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Legolas felt sorry for Estel, for his heart already belonged to another.

The golden-haired elf went to the door and opened it. Turning back, he said, "Please eat something."

Not knowing what else he could do besides obey Estel's wish, he left, feeling guilty all the while. He felt like he was turning his back on his friend. 'Friend.' That was the problem.

He should have let Elrond check on his son.

Estel heard the door click shut, Legolas' concerns flitting in his mind—along with the rejection that he had seen coming. However, that did not mean it didn't hurt any less; if anything it was worse since he was now scolding himself for being so thoughtless.

A tear finally escaped and ran down his cheek, to the floor. More followed and he let them.

He leaned heavily against the wall and slid down it.

He didn't move another inch and let the clear liquid, that he had been holding back, cacade into his hands.

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Hm, that ended well. XDD Yeah. I just broke up my favorite pairing. Elladan/Legolas is my second fav. Makes sense. XD ..:ahem:.. Anyway, I hope some of you liked it at least. Let me know what your thoughts are; just don't be too harsh, 'kay? n.n

And this is a one-shot, too, guys. No more. n.n;; …Too bad I can't write threesomes. XDD!

There's another one-shot that I'm going to post (this time no slash) and then I'll hopefully have a multi-chaptered fic ready. n.n I dunno. We shall see. Go to my lj (http / nightshadow131 .livejournal .com) for more info. ..:nodnod:..

Hope you all enjoyed. A little heartbreak is good every once in a while… for fics, in any case. XDD;;

Ja ne


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